Sunday, February 24, 2008

jamie lynn blog

if i was a simpleton and believed in god and heaven i'd commit suicide because heaven is the cat's pajamas, right? then, right before my last finger drops the hair dryer in the bath tub, i'll repent and receive forgiveness. why don't more religious people do this? no more bills, no more stepping on the scale, no more work, no more going to the dmv...just harps, halos, flying, waffles and watching your hot neighbor take showers. satanists, what say you? is their heaven and hell reversed??? does god pull them up to heaven, kicking and screaming, if they weren't bad enough satanists like the devil pulls down bad christians to hell? is there a purgatory where you have one more chance to rape a kitten? i think i need to have a convo with al sharpton...

there are certain things in life that a woman can do that make a man feel like a man - whether it be a woman grabbing the inside of your arm as you're walking or when they put a plate of hot wings on their head. last night, my pal jamie made me feel like a man by messaging me the jamie lynn spears story and suggesting i blog on it. note to all you ladies out there: if you want to make this blogger feel like a man - mention my blog and what to blog on because i've been struttin' around with my chest out all morning.

so, the jamie lynn spears preggers story....i'm sorry but my first, unadulterated, completely honest thought was: that's hottt. am i a gross old man and a creepy pervert for feeling the feelings i feel? perhaps, but the one thing this blog is about is candor and honesty and i'll be damned if i'm going to censor my blogs. i'm gonna' climb to the highest mountain and sing in my loudest and prettiest voice: I FIND A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL OF JAMIE LYNN'S CUT, CALIBER AND FAME TO BE HOTTT....LA LA LA LA LA....

i've been living in la for close to two years and the one thing that chaps my hide more than anything is all the incessant horn honking. i'll be blunt; horn honkers are creeps. the only times you should be honking your horn is to avert an accident, when someone is sitting at a green light for more than three seconds (one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand) or when you spot a fly ass koochie workin' the boulevard. heyyyyy!!! other than that, you're a creep. i've been driving, and driving often, for close to 10 years and i can recall honking my horn only once and that was at a car sitting at a green light and they gave me the "oops, my bad" hand wave, so it was all good. i walk a lot too, around major streets, and it is a constant cacophony of horn honking. the noise doesn't bother me it's just the attitude that comes with it. these honkers think they're better than the people they're honking at and this is their passive aggressive, pussy way of asserting this.

ba dum BLOG!!!

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