Saturday, February 23, 2008

jack and blog

for the most part, i really don't like action movies. i think the only one i legitimately like and don't make fun of the whole time is the first "die hard." anyway, i HATE that cliche scene that appears in almost all action movies where the hero nonchalantly walks away from an explosion , that he created, as if nothing happened, looking like a bad ass. what is that? turning away and ignoring an explosion is the most unnatural, idiotic thing i've ever seen. yet, it's in almost every action movie.

i'm spinning out of control with my internets obsession. i am on myspace, craigslist, the facebook (which i hate), perezhilton, tmz, espn, yahoo, the wikipedia and checking my emails ALL DAY. the craigslist is my worst, newest obsession. before i posted my personal there i've never really peeped that ruckus. but now i'm obsessed with all the personals on there. i'll check the dudes and if i like the guys, or they're in prison, i'll send them along to my bff kelly. i'll also check the girls and i saw a few girls that i thought were cute and seemed nice so i sent them a message - i know, totally pathetic and embarrassing but i thought why not, wwjd? anyway, all these hot craigslist chicks are FAKE i keep getting the same standardized, fake email responses directing me to some pay dating site. so now i'm obsessed with trying to find just one real, cute girl. the fat ugly ones are all real but i don't mess with them because i don't wanna' lead them on. anyway, i'm sending off even more emails now because i NEED to either prove that craigslist is a viable place for singles or an absolute fraud filled with charlatans and internet vultures.

has anyone ever thought about what a coup it is for the coca cola company to have the market completely cornered in regards to being the cola used, or at least named, in mixed drinks such as jack and cokes, captain and cokes, soco and cokes and the like??? do people ever use pepsi for these drinks? it wouldn't taste that much different would it? also, you know how you'll be at a restaurant and ask for coke but the restaurant only has pepsi products so they'll ask "is pepsi okay?" do they do the same thing if you order a jack and coke or do they always have coke at the bar?

here's some lady advice for my guy friends (since i get ALL the ladies). it's just as bad to act like a testosteroneless pussy to woo a girl as it is to be a macho, douchebag tool. for example, don't wax poetic about how you're going to shower her bed with roses and write ballads and poems for her everyday of the week. be yourself, if you are a pussy and like doing those things - fine. but listen to me and listen to me good - it's much easier to apologize to others than it is to apologize to yourself. how profound is that? i just came up with that shizz on the spot.

ba dum BLOG!!!

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