Sunday, February 24, 2008

skull blogging

how strange is it that we are so grossed out by breast milk, which comes from a woman and a boob, yet we freely chug cow's milk which comes from a dangly old udder? isn't that weird? i know cow's milk is all processed and such but shouldn't it be the other way around? better yet, why is goats milk considered icky then? us men will suck on boobies till we practically pass out yet, as all lame movies and tv shows tell us, the second we open the fridge and haphazardly drink breast milk we spit it out to much laughter and consternation.

are there still 9/11 conspiracy theorists out there? how hard is it to figure out? two planes, commandeered by hoodoo voodoo muslims, flew into buildings. what do you expect, the planes to bounce off the buildings? wouldn't it have taken like a bazillion explosives to pull that off from the inside? wouldn't someone who worked in the buildings seen it happen? i guess you can say that the government paid muslim dudes to pull it off to make it look like it was the bin ladens but c'mon, really??? actually, that's sorta' plausible - dagnabbit, i'm a hippie.

you know how there's that phrase "i never thought it could happen to me..." well, i'm finally saying it and it's quite discouraging. i never thought it could happen to me but i'm balding. there are no genetic inclinations towards this happening nor are there medical reasons such as a bum thyroid. i guess i'm just like patient zero in a new genetic strain of balding; it's not like all bald people descended from the same bald monkey, right? it's weird tough because they say balding is because of too much testosterone, yet balding leaves you no depository, except for a wad of kleenex or a gym sock, to leave this overabundance of testosterone. this is like nature's little irony.

what's going on with that ky warming jelly? does sex need to be any hotter? and, is there any hotter orifice at which we stick our extremities at a higher degree of frequency than the 'giner? i can just picture the ky board meeting: "golly guys, the 'giner is FANTASTIC - it's soft, tight, gooey but it could be a little hotter. what do you say we crank that sucker up a few degrees?" of course, i'm probably not sexually experienced enough to know what it's really for; it's probably for handies or skull f'ing.

ba dum BLOG!!!

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