Thursday, September 25, 2008

swashblogging

am i crazy or is this whole mccain suspending his election and putting off the debate so he can save the economy just a case of good ol' fashion politickin'? sure, the economy is a big deal and needs to be fixed but can't warshington figure it out sans one senator and one congressman? is mccain going to make some grand errol flynn-esque, swashbuckling gesture where he swings into warshington on a chandelier, brandishes his musket, rapes a damsel and saves the economy? heck, maybe he will and is that important to fixing the economy but this just reeks of "following him to the gates of hell," "eliminating evil," macho, empty republican rhetoric. maybe this is what a leader does and mccain is right and genuine in doing so. i also might concede to the idea that my bias is getting the best of me in my skepticism of the maverick mavericking his way out of the debates and into belly of the beast that is the economy. still though, mccain's at an all time low in the polls and its supposedly because of the economy and this is his way of showing that "country comes first," his party blew it and he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it right. or, this could also be a whole production to make o'bama look like he doesn't care about the economy and is more concerned with his bid for president than for the country. however, mccain lost all benefit of the doubt when he crossed letterman by cancelling on him to save the economy all whilst chillin' with katie couric. i really don't know... do you???

pardon me if this has been mentioned or blogged before but sarah palin is rocky of the eponymously titled sly stallone vehicle, "rocky." not in the sense that she's an underdog and is going to win, like hillary tried to draw allusions to during her campaign (especially since rocky did NOT win). but in the sense that she's just some politically charged marketing ploy who was chosen and created in a smoke filled room of scheming suits. remember, rocky wasn't picked because he was the best, or even good – he was a tomato can, but because he was some working class dago (the italian stallion) from the streets of philadelphia (thank you, bruce springsteen) who the downtrodden people of philly could get behind - he was the "american dream." much like palin is a hot female, from a small town, has a big family, is a bible humper, hunts and is righter than dubya - the "republican american dream." rocky was merely supposed to put butts in seats, make the suits some money (not box) - that's it. just like palin was chosen to win the election (not actually vp) - that's it. sure, palin could end up surprising all sane minded people and turn out to be a competent vp like rocky turned out to be a competent boxer but shouldn't the bar be a little higher for second in command? actually, i can see it turning out a lot like "rocky" - palin surprises everyone with her skillz and moxy, still loses but gains enough momentum and the actual experience needed to be a real life political player and legitimately makes some real vp/presidential waves in the next four years much like rocky goes on to become a legitimate boxer, gets his rematch and eventually defeats apollo creed. ehhh, this doesn’t quite work, does it? consider this a daily blog space filler.

not done with the vp; the system is broke and needs to be fixed. the vp isn't a two month campaign boost but an actual job with real duties - especially when you're duties include being on deck for leader of the free world. but especially when the leader of the free world in question is a septuagenarian with a litany of health issues. so, this is what i propose: make the selection of vp occur after the presidential election in the same way the president chooses his cabinet. even my dearest and closest friend, who is a lifelong member of team republican, admits that there were AT LEAST fifty republicans who would've served as a better vp and that palin was chosen to merely galvanize women voters. while i'm still not sure what coating women with zinc to avoid rusting has to do with anything, i gathered his point through context, nonetheless. so, is being a political mascot make you qualified to be vp? nope! so, how about we do as i said with choosing the vp after the election and create an actual position of "presidential mascot" and good ol' palin can travel around to all sorts of rallies, sticker stops, etc. and bring along one of those t-shirt guns (she like guns) that you see at sporting events and make hay. and, barack could choose bono or something and he could sing his "uno, dos, tres, catorce" song and talk about aids in africa. or, we could just do as we did in the olden days and have the loser of the presidential election become the defacto vp. why not? maybe that could even serve as the first step in eliminating all this partisan poppycock and help do away with the hackneyed party system. or maybe i have no clue what i'm blogging aboot.

ba dum BLOG!!!

editor's note: we promise, we'll have a blog of levity tomorrow without the politics. and, ba dum BLOGger is italian and reserves the right to use all italian racial slurs in accordance with the n'word theory of owning it and taking away some of its juice.

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