Wednesday, September 24, 2008

the day the blogging died

september 23, 2008 will be forever known as "the day the ambiguity died." much like february 3, 1959 is known as "the day the music died" and september 20, 2008 shall be remembered as "the day two marginal celebrities survived while a publicist, a bodyguard a pilot and a candlestick maker, all of which are of little or no significance, died." neat, huh? anyway, back to the 'mos... yes, lindsay lohan and clay aiken have both emerged from their respective, not so secretive or furtive, closets. yay, good for them!!! seriously though, i love the gays. well, maybe i don't love them inasmuch that i hate all the wacko, religious zealots who loathe and condemn their bumpluggery and clambakery to hell or, at the very least, confine them to the darkness of their metaphorical closets of shame. either way, i'm on team "clayDo" and "LezLo" because when homosexual people don't come out and own themselves they are giving credence to the "don't ask, don't tell" attitude that implies they are wrong and should be embarrassed for being themselves and living their nonthreatening, nonimposing on your lives lives. you watch though; all the twenty-four-hour-a-day news network, talking heads will wax moronic saying things like "who cares how they live their lives?," "why do they need to make an announcement of their own personal affairs?" and/or "you don't see me bragging about how i hunt moose and use pretty words like 'dressing' to literally dress up the idea of gutting and skinning a still warm animal carcass." actually, i'm not that against hunting but the whole idea of "dressing" a moose is grosser than sodomy, right? at least sodomizing (or "gomorrahizing" - really gomorrah got off easy...) includes consent betwixt two, like minded human beings. look, i digressed and i know this is all very stream of conscious and scattershot but the important thing is that all you 'mos need to come out and come out with such extreme force that your calves cramp up and "closets" don't even exist anymore. in all sincerity though; more important than the economy, the war, mccain not knowing how to use computers or o'bama being an infanticidist is the fact that we have this whole group of people in america who are terrified of what their families, their friends, their bosses, their colleagues, their church, etc. would think of them if they merely just expressed themselves and their love for others with the same zeal and zest all us heteros are afforded. that is all... yay homos, boo closets... HISSSSS!

ba dum BLOG!!!


editor's note: yes, we know LezLo technically came out on sunday, september 21 on the loveline show but "the thirty-six-hour span the ambiguity died" doesn't have the same tambour to it.

5 comments:

Sodom said...

"gomorrah got off easy"

I wish.

ba dum BLOGger said...

brilliant... too bad ol' yahweh didn't spare sodom for its wit.

michael said...

pat- its mike from your 'mo all boy high school. As a rational, God non-fearing 'ro, I don't understand why anybody would give a shit who somebody else diddles (or how committed the diddling is). Well, I decided to investigate and take a look at the yes on 8 website, you know to get the other side's argument, and a.) There is a picture of a church on the front page and b.) there is this gem of a quote, "It protects our children from being taught in public schools that “same-sex marriage” is the same as traditional marriage, and prevents other consequences to Californians who will be forced to not just be tolerant of gay lifestyles, but face mandatory compliance regardless of their personal beliefs." Now isn't the opposite also true? By saying the gaylords can't marry each other, we are forcing "mandatory compliance" on the gays and the who-gives-a-fucks. I mean can't the marriage just not be valid inside the church? And if you don't like that, you go to a different church. I am embarassed to admit I read your blog pretty regularly, so good job or whatever. I don't write blogs, however, so pardon the rambling nonsense of a comment. GO CHIEFTANS.

John said...

I think the conservatives are going about this all wrong. You really want to piss gay people off? Legalize gay marriage, and make sodomy illegal. Instant bedlam.

Also, GO CHIEFTANS

ba dum BLOGger said...

i'm embarassed for you, mike...

go chieftains!!! (irish, not injun)