Thursday, September 25, 2008

gaudy, empty trinkets of blog

does anybody actually wear their high school, class ring? wait, let me reblog that: has anybody who actually spent the three hundred dollars it took to buy a class ring look at it collecting dust in their closet and say "ahhhh, high school... really takes me back" as opposed to becoming riddled with regret over all the things they wish they could spend that money on now? and yes, i realise that many of your parents bought you your ring but wouldn't you have rather they spent that money on an extra meal card for you in college (assuming you ring wearing mongoloids got into college) or, god forbid, spent the money on themselves? seriously, these rings have gotta' be one of the biggest scams on earth. i hope jostens (you know, the class ring company... ) is one of the casualties of our economic doldrums. and, i know this is hard to believe but while i was emotionally and socially waaaaaaay behind the curve in high school, i was still evolved enough to not even feign a modicum of interest in these gaudy, empty trinkets of forced nostalgia. it's not even really a keepsake either. a high school keepsake is the lucky shirt you wore when you lost your virginity or the bottle of malted liquor that gave you your first overnight drunk. wait, let me reblog this, as well, since i wasn't cool enough to have lost my virginity in high school, much less actually get invited to a party where your peers drank malted liquor and talked to girls: a high school keepsake is the vhs tape of a backyard wrestling match your friends put on or that nintendo 64 controller you used to beat chris sorenson with in game of "nfl blitz" (two people will get these references, counting me).

you people watch that show "weeds?" it's okay, nothing to write home to mom about but i wouldn't kick it out of bed for eating crackers either. anyway, i only watch the seasons after they come out on netflix because i don't get the showtime channel. however, even without being up on the current season's storylines, i have been made aware by my beloved pornorazzi sites (thank you, www.drunkenstepfather.com) that the show's star, mary louise parker, has not only gotten nude once, but twice!!! how does this happen? how does the show's star, who hasn't even gotten naked once during the first three seasons, all of a sudden show her boobies, twice?!?!?! was this in her contract, were ratings down or was mary louise just feeling frisky fun and fancy free? this had to be a ratings grab, right? but why would mary louise agree and how would the director even broach this subject? that's what i don't get about hollywood. do all these smoking hot celebrities like getting naked for all to see or are they just that into their "craft" where they legitimately think the nudity is important to the character and the story and not just due to the director's and the general hoi polloi's perversions. i mean, i'm not complaining but am intrigued by the whole process, nonetheless. how great must it be to be an actor? dudes almost never have to show their wiener but get to grind up against hot celebrity's naked bodies all the time just in the name of "acting." how do they not get boners??? i feel light headed just blogging about it.

ba dum BLOG!!!

editor's note: i have made an executive, editorial decision that ba dum BLOGger will NOT blog on the weekends. not because he can't, but because we need to keep up the allusion of some sort of social life that would preclude him from blogging every SINGLE day... it's just bad for his image. also, 10 "ba dum BLOGateer cool dude points" for anyone who gets the reference of the second pic.

7 comments:

Colin said...

Weeds is a fantastic show and most definitely worthy of writing home and informing the 'rents of it's awesomeness. And in season 4, not only do you get two instances of Nancy Botwin boobage, but you get some Andy wangage as well. Something the whole family can enjoy.

John said...

A few items:

1. I seem to recall the two of us at "Freakfest" 2000 and both sampling a plastic cup full of beer. Granted, high school ended like 2 days later, but still, we drank and were at a party.

2. Still have that VHS tape.

3. Boner Stabone from growing pains. Easily a better cameo on that show than Leo Decaprio. Am I right? He was a lot like Waldo Faldo from "Family Matters" or Kimmy Gibler from "Full House". Gotta love the wacky friend. Now where do I collect my points?

ba dum BLOGger said...

colin, i cannot wait to see andy's penis. seriously, i like to use celeb penis as a barometer (not literally).

john, GREAT KNOWLEDGE on boner stabone!!! however, he was much much more than a "cameo." he was a recurring character like newman or, as you mentioned, waldo faldo. "growing pains" was highly underrated as it also spawned stinky sullivan and the story arc of mike dating the babysitter, playboy playmate julie mccullough.

also, i seem to remember both of us being thouroughly disgusted by the beer and asking eachother if we felt anything...

the points are like "props" in the sense that they earned, but not seen.

John said...

Ah yes, I seem to recall we did not enjoy it. We should have got the Freakfest t-shirts though.

Krista said...

Ahhh..class rings. Yup, have absolutely no idea where that classy piece of jewelry is! But then again I don't even know where my college diploma is, and that unfortunately cost a little bit more than $300. But i do remember how stoked I was to wear that ring for like two weeks when i first got it. Definitely should have spent the money on the dorm food card. After all, i was partaking in a lot of the aforementioned "weeds" my freshman year and man, did I have the munchies.

Blog Queen said...

I graduated high school in 1987. I just recently stopped wearing my class ring....thanks for reminding me. I need to dust it off and start wearing it again

ba dum BLOGger said...

aww, blog queen... you're making me feel like a heel :(