Wednesday, June 17, 2009

milking the blog

apropos of absolutely nothing, this seemingly innocuous baloo and rebecca pic from a blog about the similarities betwixt "talespin" and "cheers" i blogged over a year ago has garnered me even more hits than my hermione see-through panties blog/publicity ploy. see, i get a report which shows me how people (perverts) find my site via google searches and i get AT LEAST one hit a week via baloo, rebecca and "talespin" themed google image searches. for example, just last week i had a visitor (pervert) from ringkobing, denmark who found ba dum BLOG!!! through a google search of "rebecca baloo porn." nuts, huh? i swear, similar searches such as "shirtless baloo," "talespin sex," etc. have also been used. that stupid picture has been found gold for me and that's why i'm shamelessly posting it yet again. other popular searches which lure a many wayward, internet surfers (perverts) to ba dum BLOG!!! are "native american midgets," "funny racial slurs," "miriam mcdonald crossed legs" and a pic of lance loud from my "top 11 greatest mtv shows of all time" blog. how did YOU find ba dum BLOG!!!, perverts?

what's in a name? is there a more generic way to start a blog about names? no... let's get to it! how strange is it that there's a former major leaguer named heathcliff slocumb as well as a professional golfer named heath slocum? or, what are the odds that there was both a jack youngblood and a jim youngblood who both played for the los angeles rams on the defensive side of the ball from 1973-1983 and weren't even related? also, in a similar story of similarly named futbol americanos from the same team were billy joe hobert and billy joe tolliver who were both quarterbacks for the new orleans saints from 1998-1999. then you have these completely authentic and unadulterated aptronymic names such as professional poker player, chris moneymaker, nascar racecar driver, scott speed and san francisco dentist, dr. leslie plack. and, i'd be remiss if i didn't draw attention to some of the more unfortunately named characters such as john wayne bobbit, who infamoulsly got his penis bobbed by his street-rat carzy wife, and michael milken who is the chairman and founder of the prostate cancer foundation. these are just the names i could come up with off the top of my head - i'm sure y'all know some whimsically, coincidental and apt names, too. hey, you should post them in the comments section!!! yeah???

this may resonate more with people from my hometown of salinas, california but i believe this might be a common phenomenon in most big fish, small town cities: "the lake"... ahhh yes, the ambiguously titled hot spot simply known as "the lake." ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. of course, being far removed from the cool crowd and having parents who had no friends and having no family from the area, i had no clue what my hs classmates were talking about when they casually referred to their water skiing, drunken boating, high school hookup fests that were weekends camping out or in their parent's cabins at "the lake." "what lake?" i naively asked. lake tahoe, lake michingan, lake titicaca??? ohhh, lake san antonio... of course! as was my wont, i'd snarkishly reply "oh, you mean 'a lake.'" then, as luck would have it, i was actually invited to "the lake" for said high school hijinx. here's the long of it: rode up there with some dude i've never met before where i had to hear about all of his drunken exploits and all the girls he's hooked up with for the 2 1/2 hour trek to "the lake" when i, myself, had never even attended an after school event with alcohol present nor have i gotten anywhere past first base with a gal since i madeout with my neighbour's cousin (a girl) in a shed when i was 13-years-old, then i ended up being the fifth wheel w/ two other couples for the majority of the trip since my carpool "buddy" spent most the weekend vomitting up beer and red licorice (of which i stepped in), then i nearly had an asthma attack ignited by a panic attack while trying to climb into an innertube being pulled by a boat because i can't swim and then, to top it off, got called a "faggot" by a neighbouring camp of rowdy boys because i was wearing my friend's gf's puffy pink jacket because i was cold. i HATE "the lake."

ba dum BLOG!!!

editor's note: hang on kids, the podcast recounting ba dum BLOGgers trip to uc davis will be released early next week.


lee said...


darn near killed 'em!

Victoria =) said...

urologist named Dr. Cockburn (pronounced Co-Burn, but nevertheless)

oncologist named Dr. Cantor (close enough to make you think)