Thursday, June 11, 2009

monkey blogs

does anyone else find it odd that goodyear tires is most well known for it's eponymous blimp which is a vehicle that uses no tires? shouldn't their mascot or advertising icon be like a monster truck or a hockey puck? are blimps even comprised of any rubber? this would be analogous to cap'n crunch being a rear admiral, general electric using a battery for a logo or me being an anology writer for the sat's when these pathetic examples are the best i could come up with. also, goodyear's actual logo is one of those winged, mercury feet which again goes against the whole tire concept. why would mercury ever use tires if he had winged feet and could fly? heck, i don't think rubber was even discovered when mercury was around. i guess this is why goodyear is third in the tire industry behind bridgestone and michelin... eat it, bf goodrich!

a "delicacy" is kinda like a misnomer where its true meaning is masked by giving it a more grandiose or politically correct name. it's kinda like how a "baker's dozen" glorifies the fact that bakers aren't very educated and don't know how to count and/or how an "old wive's tale" is a folksy way of dressing up some senile, old coot's alternative methods to science. anyway, back to delicacies... a delicacy is basically a nice word for the f'd up shizz weird cultures eat. for example, monkey brains are a delicacy in the congo, fish eyeball soup is a delicacy in vietnam, snails are a delicacy in france and/or placenta is a delicacy in hong kong. NEAT, huh? what would be considered an american delicacy where most the world would cringe and dry heave at the mere thought of it. maybe twinkies or rocky mountain oysters are examples of american delicacies. or, even better, hot dogs may be the most delicate of american delicacies. think about it, jews and muslims can't eat pork because their "god" considers it an abomination and hot dogs are comprised of all the nastiest, leftover pork items like pig lips and buttholes and stuff. really, since jews, xtians and muslims all kinda worship the same god, maybe jesus' biggest accomplishment wasn't opening up the gates of heaven or being a jewish carpenter but allowing his followers to indulge in pork products while the other middle eastern religions can't. OINK!

ba dum BLOG!!!

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