Sunday, June 15, 2008

ba dum BLOGger has no "game" vol. 2

this is quickly becoming my favourite blog to blog... and yours to read. although, i fear my encounters with women will become less and less organic and lean more towards whimsy and the ridiculous since the endgame is shifting from getting into lady's bloomers to entertaining the few in the form of blog. still though, this is a good thing because as my flirtations grow, so do the odds of finding my loin mate or, at the very least, a loin buddy.

so, i went to the movies with a lady pal from work the other night to see "the happening" (quick review: m. night should stick to "bollywood," thank you). it was a crowded theater and we took our seats next to a young man and woman of indeterminate relations. i immediately had to excuse myself to drain the vane and, upon returning, i see the young man is gone, leaving an empty seat between me and his lady of indeterminate relations. i then made an offhanded joke to my lady pal from work to the effect of me being annoyed with having to wash my hands since there were other people in the bathroom and i didn't want to look gross. the young lady then leans across the empty seat betwixt us and says "oh my god, i do the same exact thing!" i reply, "why bother? i only touched one thing in there and i know that's clean. she laughed and with that the flirting was on... for the next thirty seconds.

i had her going too until she abruptly broke eye contact, repositioned herself firmly back into her seat and said "here comes my husband...just so you know." i was so nonplussed i could barely mu
ster a response. but, if i had my druthers, i'd have quipped, "bummer, i was hoping he was single." but i didn't have my aforementioned druthers and another harmless flirtation went for naught. really though... why did that nice young lady who shares my penchant of not washing her hands after a tinkle freak out like that? i have to admit though, it did feel kinda' neat to be seen as a threat, rife with unbridled sexuality, in lieu of an "asexual pod person," as i was once likened to in college by a female neighbor with a terrific rack.

oh, and then i went out for another over night drunk with some pals last night. i was engaging in the art of conversation/flirtation with this one lady friend of a friend who is pretty much out of my league but she was nice and seemed receptive enough nonetheless - we'll call her "betty." i didn't think much of it afterwards other than "betty" was nice, easy on the eyes and i wouldn't mind hanging out with her again." so i was talking to my pal "archie," who was my friend of her friend, the next day and he said "i have something funny to tell you. "betty" asked me today if you were "gay?" needless to say, this left me feeling lamer than "jughead"... only i don't have a "big ethel" to fall back on.

ba dum BLOG!!!


Colin said...

I fully expect you to live your life miserable and alone if only to provide fodder for this blog.

Lee said...

don't forget about splatter though. just because the only thing you've touched is 'clean' (which is debatable), doesn't mean that the splatter from the ill designed urinal isn't all over your hands.

ba dum BLOGger said...

that's good "splatter" knowledge.