frankenblog

with all the hullabaloo over "batman 2," (one nerd dies every time i call it "batman 2") i feel compelled, as the most underrated (non rated?) blogger, to breakdown the most overrated moving picture since "titanic." okay, just to get it out of the way, everything with the joker was great. for all the hype heath ledger is receiving, it's actually not enough - he really was that good. however, the rest of the movie was crap; surrounding the joker with the clunker that is "batman 2" is like building a disneyland in the middle east - no one wants to walk through fallujah to get to "it's a small world." look, batman/bruce wayne is the most boring super hero there is. nobody cares about a humourless, bazillionaire who schtups russian ballet stars, drives a modified tank/motorcycle/lamborghini, has a gadget for every situation and still isn't over the death of his parents from when he was like ten. nobody would want to be this guy's friend and, if you got stuck talking to him at a party, you'd want to kill yourself. plus, every other line in the movie was some heavy handed platitude about "what it takes to be a hero," "the sacrifice of being a hero" and "the thin line betwixt heroism and villainy." ohhhh, the brooding, blowhardy misery of it all... okay, it wasn't a bad movie (maybe a 6 1/2 or a 7) but over $300 million through two weeks and 95% of rotten tomatoes??? methinks not. give me the onomatopoeic, pantyhoed batman from the 70s anyday.

i am so tired of www.tmz.com and www.perezhilton.com. admittedly, i love all that celebrity shizz and still read perezhilton on an hourly basis. however, i have maintained a boycott of tmz for like six months, thank you. see, all the intrusive paparazzi/stalkerish stuff doesn't bother me so much; it's the fact that perez hilton, who looks like some sort of transgendered frankenberry, and harvey levin, who sports the combo of muscle t's and grecian formula, think that they're the "stars." their sites or shows aren't so much about celebrities as much as they're about using the celebs as a platform to prop up and promote themselves as big deals. with perez it's understandable and less pathetic since he's a young, lonely, failed actor... not to mention a chubby, cuban, lesbian. but harvey is a 57-year-old lawyer, for crying out loud, who had a legitimate career in law. wait, now i'm reading that harvey may or may not be a homosexual....interesting. anywho, i say somebody starts a website based solely on following around harvey and perez, documenting each and every one of their moves in an ironic twist on their own websites. i'm talking insufferable reporting/stalking though like 24/7 paparazzi surveillance, searching through garbage cans (i'd pay anything for a tube of harvey's used grecian formula), paying off friends and family members for stories - everything!

ba dum BLOG!!!

editor's note: sincerest apologies for lack (and quality) of content but ba dum BLOGger is in the doldrums of serious blogger's block :(