Friday, March 28, 2008

bloggerin' bloggerdoodles

l.a. isn't big on recycling. i don't know what the deal is but i've lived in two different apartment complexes and nary a recycling bin there is. and, from what i hear, this is the case in most of l.a. however, what l.a. does have is the homeless and we have them in spades. and, much like jude law is "one of our great actors" (thank you sean penn), the dwelling impaired are "our great recyclers." i really don't think they get enough credit for this either. i can't count how much homeless butt crack i've seen as their noses are buried in waste reciprocals fishing for can, bottle and, appropriately, fish. i also appreciate the move where they ride their ten speeds with two gargantuan bags filled with recyclables balancing on each handlebar. can we give them some recognition or sort of an award? they use no electricity, no fuel, no nuclear power, no hairspray - they are greener than smurfette gettin' a golden shower! screw al gore, let's give hobo kelly the nobel peace prize.

remember how funny 69 was in junior high? man alive, that was some side splitting humour! in terms of the comedy hall of fame, 69 is right there with dick van dyke tripping over the ottoman and lucy pulling back the football. if we were in history class and a teacher asked for a year comical carlos would yell "69!" if we were in math class and the teacher needed two numbers hilarious harry would yell "6!" and silly simon would inevitably yell "9!" oh we would snicker - we were a bunch of adolescent, snickerin' snickerdoodles. and poor, guffawing gomer would invariably fall on the sword and take the fall for everyone because, in junior high, he laughs loudest gets the wrong end of the lollipop. you know what's funnier than 69??? alliteration!

stucco is huge. remember what the future was supposed to hold for architecture? everything we knew about the future included sleek, metallic buildings and homes all silver and shiny like. but, in its stead, we have stucco. every home, business, apartment complex and strip mall erected (yessss!) in the past ten years has been slathered in pink and beige stucco. every shopping center and neighbourhood looks like a futuristic, southwestern, pueblo cliff dwelling. who would've thunk it? is stucco a publicly traded resource like gold? if so, i'm quitting my job, hiring a jewish broker and buying some shares of stucco stock ("stucco stock" - it's either that or "aids in africa" as my number one and two choices for band names). we are stuck on stucco, baby!

there was a shooting this weekend on (the) 101 right at my exit in the jewel of the valley - sherman oaks. at first i was kinda' worried - could this happen to me? and then i remembered that i'm a ten and two driving, blinker using, no horn-honking driver who is, frankly, just an absolute delight on the road. and then i heard the victim was a mexican and then i was really relieved. so, if this wasn't a road rage deal it was probably a gang thing, right? (racist?) and, as i learned from a middle-aged man of colour during my summer long, post baccalaureate sabbatical in milwaukee, minorities don't shoot white people. and, you know why? blacks and mexicans can shoot and kill each other all day long and nothing is done about it. cops, republicans and society have a kind of a laise faire attitude towards minority on minority crime. they literally chalk it up (you know, because of chalk outlines...) to the "bad guys" just killing each other off. however, if a white dude gets shot and killed in a bad neighbourhood, it becomes a media circus – unicycling bear included. also, how good does this gunman's aim have to be to shoot and kill a guy while driving on the freeway? holy mackerel!!!

editor's note: pueblo cliff dwellings were NOT made from stucco.

ba dum BLOG!!!

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