Monday, October 6, 2008

the top 9 things i noticed from the debate (and you didn't) vol. 2, part 2

6. i love israel, you love israel, we all love israel!: for those of you who don't know, israel = florida jews. you see, florida is a battle ground state or, a swing state with a lot of old jews with old money who vote. they were the crux of the whole florida debacle in '00 because it was mostly them who either f'd up or got f'd over (depending on which team you root for) and had their votes not counted or miscounted. conventional wisdom says they probably would've voted for gore but who knows... either way, they'll once again be a pivotal force in the '08 election and both sexy sarah and joey b. would be remiss if they didn't espouse their israel love like they did during the debates.

7. who is "joe six pack?:" for one thing, i don't know if i'd be bragging about and/or pandering to a constituency who may, at the very least, be binge drinkers or alcoholics. really, is that something you wanna' be bringing up over and over again at the debates? why is "joe six pack" good and "latte sipping larry" bad? yes, i know there was no mention of a "latte sipping larry" but latte sippers are usually demonized by the right in political forums while drunken mongoloids are celebrated as the salt of the earth. meanwhile, joey b. missed an excellent opportunity for the greatest moment in debate history (yes, even better than steve a. douglas' "four matadors in quick sand/quatro cinco" quip during the lincoln/douglas debates). anyway, biden should've stepped out from behind his podium and said "hey, if y'all wanted to know what's important to "joe six pack," all you had to do was ask..." then, he pulls up his shirt, flexes, punches his stomach and screams "these abs don't flab!!!" game, set, biden.

8. pulp moves, baby!: really, what was with all of sexy sarah's winking? i mean, it made me sit up a little straighter in my seat but doesn't that make her look kinda' shifty or like a floozy. i guess i just don't totally get the connotations of winking. when george was doing it in the famous episode of "seinfeld" it was accidental but construed as giving off a less than honest vibe. when guys and and girls do it to eachother isn't it a flirty thing? so, why would palin do this? she's hot enough as it is... does she really need to wink, too? trust me, the men of america are already on notice and i can't imagine one thing a woman hates more than another woman, who is clearly hotter than them, confounding the fact by winking at their depressed, "joe six pack" of a husband.

9. joe biden's sad past: maybe i just hadn't been paying attention but i didn't even know about the whole thing with biden's wife a daughter. it turns out his family was in a pretty horrific car accident that killed his wife, his daughter and put two of his sons in critical condition. biden even contemplated giving up his senatorship so he could provide extra care and attention to his sons, who made a full recovery, and was even sworn into office from one of their bedsides. however, he decided to stick it out and made a special effort to make sure he was home often to care for his sons. this revelation should be neither here nor there in terms of politics but with team republican using palin's mentally challenged sons and pregnant daughter as such a coup, it really puts things in perspective to know biden understands tragedy and family strife. sad :(

ba dum BLOG!!!

5 comments:

ba dum BLOGger said...

damn it all... just watched the palin sketch on snl and they mentioned the whole israel/florida jew thing. i swear i had blogged that up first but was just saving it up for today. oy vey!

John said...

EAT A PLUM!

lee said...

they actually counted the rest of the votes after the supreme court called the election, and they went to gore. that's why people say gore won that election.

ba dum BLOGger said...

sounds like slanderous, liberal lies and treason. gore lost, bush won... boo hoo. EAT A PLUM!

Blog Queen said...

This whole political fiasco is making us all a lil' bit smarter...or atleast causing many to brush up on historical facts