Tuesday, October 7, 2008

the top 7 things i noticed from the debate (and you didn't) vol. 3

1. the lefties shake hands righty: while jmc and bo'b are both portsiders, they still elected to use their less dominant hand in their pre-debate, salutatory handshake. this just goes to show how southpaws still harbour the negative effects of this social stigma in their everyday lives. while dollypaws aren't getting a ruler across the knuckles or being attributed with satanic qualities anymore, they're still so adversely affected by their minority standing that they can't even greet each other in the way which nature intended. this point also prologues the fun factoid that five of our last seven presidents have been gibblefisters (including jmc or bo'b). so, with these five, including the three more before that, there have been eight presidents with such affliction/advantage - that comes to roughly 18%. that doesn't sound like much but only 7-10% of the adult population is cackhanded. neat.

2. mccain gets snarky: when jmc opened the debates with "...and sen. o'bama, it's good to be with you at a town hall meeting," this was a clear and calculated example of subterfuge and snark. you see, jmc challenged bo'b to a series of ten joint town hall meetings all the way back in june, once b'ob all but earned the presidential nod. unfortunately, b'ob declined but jmc probably would've declined too if b'ob had challenged him. maybe this is just my bias blogging but i believe this was a political act of chicken where whoever challenges who wins by virtue of neither party's willingness to engage. or, jmc was willing to back up his challenge and, in that case, b'ob was straight punk'd, yo. either way, i believe the more open forums for discourse the better but this can't reflect well on jmc to take a shot like that in just his very first statement of the debate, can it? sure, bo'b was snarky at times too but this was easily the most loaded and discreet example of it. and, at www.badumblog.blogspt.com, the snark stops here because this is the no snark zone and we're looking out for you (thank you, bill o'reilly).

3. mccain's handicap is his handicap: of course this is unfair, irrelevant and catty but the sight of jmc out and about with free reign from the shackles of his podium, is aesthetically unpleasing, creepy and downright horrifying. i know, i know, his weird arm thing that makes him look like he's wading through a cold crick is from injuries sustained during his stay at the hannoi hilton but we are such visual peoples that this can't bode well. this was proven at the first televised presidential debates when jfk elected to go with makeup and bronzer while dick nixon rocked the flop sweat and receding hairline. if you'll remember, all those who watched the debates saw jfk as the clear winner while those listening to radio believed it to be dick nixon. it makes you wonder how different the polls would be if the visuals and gaits were reversed, straightened and less creepy.

4. mccain is a multitasker: when jmc was asked about "health care, energy, and entitlement reform: social security and medicare" in regards to what order he'd prioritize them he answered "i think you can work on all three at once." hmm, is jmc suggesting we multitask much like he did with the pending bailout plan and the first presidential debates when he chose to suspend the election and postpone said debates??? ruh roh!!! was this an intentional play by jmc to erase the memories of his failed politickin' during that time or was this a bonehead example of hypocrisy? i, for one, agree with the former because methinks everything said in these debates is calculated and rehearsed which is why they refuse to answer the questions in lieu of hitting on their precious talking points. plus, jmc alluded to multitasking again when he said "look, we can attack health care and energy at the same time. we're not - we're not - we're not rifle shots here." this is where i'd insert a palin/helicopter/gun/moose joke if i were a hackneyed, hack blogger.

hi, i'm in delaware:
finally, we have an answer to wayne campbell and garth algar's general ennui and languor when faced with the prospect of going on holiday to delaware. according to bo'b "everybody (banks) goes to delaware, because they've got very - pretty loose laws when it comes to things like credit cards." hmm, now we know. thanks, bo'b! hey, isn't your pal, joe biden, also a senator from delaware? i have just quadrupled mine and your delaware knowledge.

6. o'bama makes a funny: oooh, oooh, did you hear it when bo'b attributed jmc to being the guy who sang "bomb, bomb, bomb iran?" that's funny because the beach boys are often attributed to be the ones who first sang "barbara ann" while it was fred fassert and "the regents" who first wrote and preformed the song. but, it was "vince vance and the valliants" who later parodied the song as "bomb iran" and vinnie barbarino of "welcome back kotter" who famously preformed his own rendition; "baa-baa-baa baa-barbarino." but even still, we come full circle as jmc did attempt to sing the aforementioned vince vance version at a campaign stop in april of '07. thank you, bo'b and thank you, www.wikipedia.com.

7. o'bama really likes pig metaphors: again, bo'b utilized a pig metaphor - again!!! behold: "i mean, you know, it's tough to ask a teacher who's making $30,000 or $35,000 a year to tighten her belt when people who are making much more than her are living pretty high on the hog." who are these "people," who bo'b clearly hates and takes great pleasure in besmirching, that he's speaking of? and, why would this "hog," who is clearly just as bad as those he lets ride high on, aid and abet these teacher haters? of course, i'm just perpetuating such pigheaded politics by drawing attention to and rolling in the mud with such skullduggery and malfeasants but i hope you'll just disregard it as hogwash. or, maybe this is just bo'b slyly pandering to the jews, once again, by preying on their kosher sensibilities and degrading all things pork... "th-th-th-that's all folks!"

ba dum BLOG!!!


John said...

oooh a thinly veiled "Wayne's World" reference. I like.

Blog Queen said...

Hey! You leave us lefties alone!!

P J Lipscomb said...

I really enjoyed your blog. So well done and great content! I hope to be like you one day!