right to bear blogs

i love how hollywood treats over-the-hill starlets. first, they stop giving tired, old bucks like meg ryan and melanie griffith roles because they look too old. then, in response, the meg ryans and melanie griffiths get a bunch of botox/collagen injected into their face which ultimately leaves them looking like some sort of amalgamation of a fish-faced, muppet. then, this leads to us (the general hoi polloi) making fun of them and hollywood still won't give them roles because they've thoroughly creeped everyone out. these poor ladies can't win for losing! seriously, what are they supposed to do? the worst part is that this trend is trickling down to our moms, secretaries, dental hygienists, etc. i think these broads, whether they be in the biz or in my kitchen, need to realize that they're gonna' age, their looks are gonna' go and it's gonna be rough. it's not their fault, nor should we blame them but i don't know what else to say. maybe be nice and treat everyone well while you're young and pretty and then hope for the best when it's all gone? however there is the "cougar" phenomenon but i think that's mostly a storm in a teacup. i'm just glad i'm a dude and can still be considered sexy well into my early 60s, a la sean connery.

since i went to college and, consequently, know nothing about guns i feel compelled to weigh in on the ever so relevant and timely gun control issue. parenthetically, i usually use my "i went to college line" as a tongue-in-cheek, elitist snarkism but, in this case, i think it actually holds true. i'll bet three quarters of gun owners do not have their college degrees. seriously, the gross preponderance of guns either belong to inner-city thugs or bucolic red necks. first off, the "it's our right as american's line/it's our constitutional right to bear arms" will not be addressed for reasons that should be so obvious i'm too embarrassed to blog it. anyways, we have three types of gun owners: the aforementioned thugs/red necks and paranoid, suburban right-wingers. now, for the most part, there are two types of guns: hand guns and long guns (rifles?). hand guns primary function is to kill people (not protect, kill) and long guns are for hunting, right? therefore, i believe it's safe to say that hand guns pose a larger threat than long guns. i would poopoo hunting more since i think it's a stupid and archaic hobby (not sport, hobby) but i eat meat and i think that might make me a hypocrite. although, i don't think i eat anything that's "hunted;" unless it's man - "the ultimate game." anyway, maybe we should just outlaw all handguns and relegate long guns to people who have hunting licenses. idk, guns just scare me :(

all my friends know i watch a lot of tv so they're always suggesting i invest in a tivo and/or dvr machine. the only problem with this is that i don't need a tivo/dvr machine because i don't have enough of a life to warrant this. i'm always home and i never miss any of my shows. plus, most of my shows are on the mtv and they replay all their stuff throughout the week. however, if i did get a tivo/dvr machine how and where would this hypothetical surplus of time be spent? i guess this would entail me leaving my apartment, right? what would i do, where would i go? whenever i entertain the idea of traipsing about la, all i can think about is traffic, parking (parallel???) and spending money on stuff i don't need and won't make me happy. why would i do this when i can stay at home, play internet scrabble all whilst watching back to back to back episodes of "made." although, i've boycotted watching all "made" episodes involving husky, teenage females whose estrogen has unfortunately "girlcotted" their bodies. too depressing...

ba dum BLOG!!!

editor's note: blogger's "gun control" entry goes beyond his falsely assumed, charming ignorance..."long guns???"