Wednesday, May 27, 2009

preening blogcocks

portmanteaus are rad. and, if "blog" is my favourite, "sexting" is the runner up. for those of you who don't watch the culture war segment on "the o'reilly factor," sexting (sex/texting) is primarily when gals sext their boyfriends pictures of their naked private parts through cellular text messaging. of course, the only reason the mainstream media knows this phenomenon exists is because the randy recipients always, i mean ALWAYS show their pals. this is what guys do. girls haven't quite figured this out yet. we're peacocks, we preen, we brag, we blog. heck, even i've been made privy to more than a few of these pics from my friends' girlfriends. and, from what o'reilly tells me, sexting is especially rampant in our high schools where sally sophomore will sext a pic to her boyfriend and, the next thing you know, naked pics of the entire junior varsity cheerleading squad are being shared on every teenage boy's computer in a hundred mile radius. i'm not sure what's worse; the fact that i may someday have a teenage daughter or that i missed this trend by ten years. ummm, it's the latter... duh.

while i reluctantly acknowledge all the rage that is blue toofs, i've discovered yet another use for them aside from distributing them to the homeless. no matter how hard i fight it, the general hoi polloi insists on utilizing blue toofs as fashion accessories or accouterments. so, why not use this retarded trend to benefit the handicapped - namely the deaf. see, for the past however many years, we've been designing hearing aids to be smaller, less conspicuous and more resembling small fleshy, calcified growths. with all that blogged, wouldn't it seem obvious to place the same technology inside the bulkier, flashier and trendier blue toofs? no one would even know you were deaf! depending on their proclivities, people would either assume you were merely rockin' a blue toof or were simply an a-hole. surely both alternatives are better than being viewed as handicapped, right? and, technologically speaking, wouldn't the size of a blue toof allow for better technology and hence, product? since society has decided that blue toofs = cool and hearing aids = lame, let's give the deaf a break and let them be cool. then, enough deaf people will be wearing blue toof hearing aids to the point where blue toofs will consequently become lame by deaf association. in short; the cool dude blue toof wearers lose, the deaf lose and who wins??? ME!!!

ba dum BLOG!!!

2 comments:

Wonderfool said...

hahaha, that's a great idea for hearing aids! 100% agreed

lee said...

when's the next podcast come out?