Wednesday, January 19, 2011

my top-10 l.a. celebrity sightings: part 1

an old high school chum of mine runs a website called "hollywood swagger." he recently asked me if i'd be interested in doing some guest blogging for his site on the subject of celebrity life/gossip in hollywood. although i've lived in los angeles for five years, i can probably count on one hand the times i've actually indulged in the hollywood "scene." so, i'm gonna give you an exclusive peek into my own not-so-hollywoodish brushes with fame.

irst, there are some guidelines: 1) no celebrities actually performing - for example, seeing jimmy kimmel (jimmy kimmel live!) or chuck woolery (lingo) at the taping of their shows doesn't count. 2) no celebrities at my place of employment - i work at a building with a studio where various sports/reality stars come to film stuff so i don't really count that. to that note, i really must briefly mention that dennis rodman once strolled past my cubicle, i shared a mutual thumbs-up with andrei kirilenko and i've ridden in the elevator with two of "the brady bunch" brothers (peter and greg) on separate occasions! 3) this isn't really a "rule" but more of a warning to how boring this blog is gonna play out - i only approach celebrities or speak to them when i have something to offer them in the way of making their day better. to this point, i've only actually verbally interacted with ONE celebrity. betcha can't wait to find out who!!!

in alphabetical and numerical order

alec baldwin (taller than me)

this might be the most talented and relevant celeb (at the time) i've ever seen. i was on my way to the 24-hour fitness at the sherman oaks galleria at like 7am one saturday morning when, as i opened the door to the gymnasium, out came a briskly walking, trench coat wearing alec baldwin! now this guy was literally HUGE - big head, broad shoulders, tall and thick (fat) - HUUUUGE!

mr. boston (taller than me)

yup, this is my one celebrity interaction and, indubitably, the least significant "celebrity" to make the blog. you may or may not know mr. boston from such vh1 reality hits as "i love new york" or "i love money." he played the part of the hilariously awkward, yet charming, dorky white guy. nevertheless, i was out at the parlor bar in santa monica when i spotted him and he was just with some other dorky white guy looking like he was wanting to be noticed. since i knew from his shows that he had an identical twin brother, my opening line to him was "are you him or are you his twin." and, he proudly replied "i'm him!" so, we chatted for a bit and i told him how much i liked his work and he agreed to take a pic with me. he was very gracious and friendly and it couldn't have been a more friendly experience.

chyna (taller than me)

you remember chyna? she was the juiced up, manly looking gal of wwf fame. she was a founding member of d-generation x, dated triple h (4-realz) and even did a porno movie with then boyfriend sean waltman (1,2,3 kid/x-pac). unfortunately, her "movie" is where we learned of the adverse effects that steroids can have on the female genitalia. anyway, i saw her in the check-out line at the ralph's in sherman oaks and i promptly queued up behind her where i noticed she was extremely slimmed down from her body building days and smelled of stripper.

kyle gass (shorter)/roger lodge (shorter)/
joe montagna (taller)/gary oldman (shorter)/wee-man (shorter)

this is a cosmic 5-way tie where these seemingly unrelated stars have something very bizarre in common; i
have seen each of these celebrities on two separate, completely unrelated instances.
- i saw kyle gass of "tenacious d" fame driving down my street in sherman oaks (can't remember the type of car) and at the piano bar, howl at the moon, at the universal city walk. in fact, i DID kinda interact with him (i forgot!) because it was my birthday and my friends convinced him to sing his song "f' her gently" and we joined in with him. i then drunkenly put my arm around him where i immediately felt him tense up. i made him feel uncomfortable :0/
- roger lodge was the host of "blind date" who always dressed like a mime and whose sole contribution to the show was saying things like "boy, that didn't go so well..." i saw him once at disneyland and the other time at the california chicken cafe in sherman oaks.
- wee-man is best and only known as the midget from jackass. the first time i saw him wasn't in l.a. but it was at the new york, new york casino in las vegas and we happened to ride the roller coaster together. he was with a bunch of normal sized goth chicks. the second time was at this gas station in west l.a.
- joe mantagna is one of those guys you know but have no clue what you've seen him in. i saw him at the restaurant he owns in burbank called taste chicago (he wasn't working, he just dropped in for a second to drop something off and left) and the second time was at a screening of alice in wonderland at the el capitan theatre in hollywood - this is my one actual "hollywood" sighting i guess.
- gary oldman is a big-time, british character actor who often plays parts where he's wearing a lot of makeup or is in some sort of a elaborate get-up so i gave myself total celebrity-stalking street cred when i recognized him. the one time i saw him just strolling through the aforementioned city walk (not sure why i've spent so much time there) and the other time was at the baja fresh in sherman oaks. both times he was dressed kinda punk rockerish which made him look at least twenty years younger - very hip!
really, how fantastically weird is all this??? us six must be connected or something.

brian george (taller than me)

babu bhatt!!!! this was definitely the most excited i've ever been with a celebrity sighting. if you don't know who brian george is than it's your loss and you must be a "berry bad man... berry, berry bad man!" i spied him at the pavilions in sherman oaks and i surreptitiously followed him around, trying to work up the courage to approach him but i just couldn't do it. like with chyna, i queued up behind him in the check-out line (like a creep) and continued to linger in silence until he left the store.

stay tuned... part 2 to come shortly!

ba dum BLOG!!!


Star said...

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John said...

Came for the Biedrins reference, leaving unfufilled.

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