Sunday, April 11, 2010

blog movements

one would think that target's customer restrooms would utilize some of the high quality toilet paper product of which can be found on their very own store shelves for purchase. as i would find out, this assumption was WRONG!!! see, i must preface this with the fact that i suffer from self-diagnosed "bowel anxiety disorder" (bad). this is where my own anxiety at being away from home and a proper toilet wills my bowel movements (bms) into action - ie, i only need to bm when it is inconvenient to do so. for example, on my recent road trip from los angeles to san francisco, i had to make frequent stops at various fast food establishments and fill-up stations just to ease my bad when, in actuality, i probably didn't even really need to go - this included a very special secret bm where i had to squat behind a bush in a field juxtaposed to the 280 freeway. but, i digress... would you believe that target's customer restrooms are using that super thin, scratchy and papery toilet paper that they wouldn't even dare try to sell in a million years?!?! how can a store that peddles wares employ a lower grade ware than they are otherwise peddling? this would be analogous to a sherwin williams store painting their walls and exterior with crayola finger paints or chevron tanker trucks running on rotten robbie gasoline. on a positive note, let's hope i can be as courageous and influential for bowel anxiety disorder as rob reiner has been to groats.

ba dum BLOG!!!


editor's note: we are experimenting with the idea of posting more blogs with less content in lieu of less blogs with more content.

1 comment:

Sasha said...

we're gonna have 2-ply on houseboats. nbd.